How to NOT Be Conflict Avoidant

For example, some businesses might benefit more from an S-Corp due to the tax advantages, or a partnership may be a better fit for companies with multiple owners. While that’s true, an LLC isn’t always the best choice for every business. Many entrepreneurs rush into creating an LLC because they’ve heard it offers great flexibility and personal liability protection. One of the first and most important decisions when forming a Delaware LLC is choosing the right business structure. I’ve loved connecting with members more often, and if you enjoy my work and like my style, I think you’ll get a lot out of it.

Use your senses to quickly relieve stress

It is important to consult with a qualified mental health professional before making any decisions or taking action. You begin to develop trust and intimacy in the relationship. By communicating openly, you can express your needs and desires to your partner, which can help avoid conflict in the future. You may begin to feel anxious, defensive, or even angry. This deficit may be fairly static so a person may need to avoid the constant ordeals. Instead, he or she may try reflecting on his or her absolute non-negotiables in the relationship.

How Conflict Avoidance Harms Us

How to NOT Be Conflict Avoidant

Ghosting, for example—ending a relationship by disappearing—has become common. Numerous tech companies are being criticized for laying off people via email rather than in person. Many people experience the pain of estrangement from family members, which can arise without warning or explanation. Therapists work with individuals to explore the roots of their anxiety and avoidance, identify triggers, and build coping strategies. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for helping people confront avoidance behaviors, as it involves exposure techniques that encourage gradual engagement with feared situations. Open communication entails fostering an atmosphere where people feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and concerns without fear of judgment.

Why conflict avoidance can be unhealthy

With the right help, you can breeze through the process and start building your business with confidence. Create a checklist to track every essential step in the LLC formation process. This small step will save you a lot of trouble down the road and ensure your business is set up properly from day one without any IRS related hiccups. This way, your business expenses are clearly documented and separate from your personal spending. It also shows the IRS and any potential creditors that your LLC is a legitimate, standalone entity, which is quite essential for maintaining your limited liability status. Plus, if your business runs into debt or legal disputes, not having clear financial separation can expose your personal wealth to potential liabilities.

How to NOT Be Conflict Avoidant

Try anxiety-management techniques during conflict

And of course, you might take those tests so that you’re better prepared for every situation that arrives. Sometimes, you just need a little nudge (and support) from someone else to stop ruminating on a problem and take action. Ultimately, we don’t feel less stressed than we would have if we just tackled the task right away rather than putting it off. Instead, we stress about what needs to be done and become even more stressed as we inevitably rush to get it done.

But if you have a little bit of compassion for that person, think about what’s actually not being said, because there’s something they don’t feel comfortable saying. And passive-aggressiveness generally comes from an avoidant stance. So the person wants to say something or express something, but is so afraid of conflict that they don’t feel comfortable doing it directly. Or they might say something in a meeting, like, yes, of course I’ll do that, and then go back to their desk and never do it. If you or your partner have avoidant tendencies, there are learnable skills that will help any person gain the confidence and competence to engage challenging feelings and emotionally charged situations. The first step is simply understanding what avoidance coping is and why it has become part of your life.

How to NOT Be Conflict Avoidant

People who are conflict avoidant—meaning they do everything they can to avoid getting others upset or angry—often struggle with a few tendencies. This contributes to people-pleasing habits since in their mind, “keeping the peace” and making everyone happy (even at your own expense) is better than any kind of confrontation. The goal of the book is I try to lay out a road map for navigating uncomfortable situations so people don’t have to feel the stress and anxiety that they often feel with conflict.

How to NOT Be Conflict Avoidant

What Is Avoidance Coping?

Imagine that you hear that you hurt a coworker’s feelings with a how to deal with someone who avoids conflict thoughtless remark. You feel awkward about the situation and unsure about how to bring it up. Conflict avoidance on both sides could lead your work relationship to grow uncomfortable and distant. By contrast, taking the coworker aside to discuss what happened and apologize would likely repair the relationship and set up productive future interactions.

  • Understanding each conflict avoidant style may inform a person about the emotional safety of the relationship.
  • Active listening plays a pivotal role in conflict resolution as it demonstrates genuine interest in understanding the perspectives of others.
  • In healthy conflict, you recognize things are nuanced rather than black and white.
  • Taking a small step toward making changes to your behavior will get you headed in the direction you want to go.
  • The thought of having to explain avoidance behavior to someone motivates some people to take a different approach.
  • The big problem with too much confrontation and conflict is that they are alienating.

When you become comfortable being uncomfortable, you will be better able to deal with your feelings and the stressors that cause them. When you can sit with these hard feelings, you’ll have more choices about how you want to face the problem because you won’t have a knee-jerk avoidance response. The first step is to become comfortable discussing issues and come up with a “win-win” solution whenever possible. When you can do this confidently, you’ll be less tempted to avoid conflict in the future and more empowered to resolve it in a way that strengthens your relationships. Stress relief techniques can also enhance your confidence and belief in your ability to handle any challenges that you face.

  • That might be stepping away from the conversation, thinking about something more calming, or changing the subject to something less inflammatory.
  • You begin to develop trust and intimacy in the relationship.
  • In a committed romantic relationship, there are often challenges and conflicts you and your partner will face.
  • After avoiding the situation, the person feels temporary relief, which reinforces the idea that avoidance is helpful.
  • People who are prone to anxiety might have learned avoidance techniques early on and therefore might find it more difficult to learn proactive strategies.
  • Couples can run into trouble if one partner always wants to talk out a conflict while the other just wants to watch playoffs” (Gottman & Silver, 1999).

Treatment for Pathological Conflict Avoidance

Or someone might say, I grew up in a large Italian family. And now I’m in this really conflict-avoidant culture where I have to sort of tamp that down a bit. And again, labeling or acknowledging what’s happened– which, you know, hey. But ultimately we need to get to a solution we can both agree with here. Can we try to tone down the conversation so we can do that?